Abundant Love

On the doorstep of Mother’s Day, I am in my typical reflective state. Memories are overflowing in my mind; the laughter, the joy, the growth but also the tears, the tantrums, the opportunities for future learning and development. I have ruminating on the behavioral difficulties in the present stage of life and was having trouble pin-pointing a cause until yesterday. I attended a local strategic thinking summit related to poverty, hunger and health education and the leader mentioned that the root of the issues is the scarcity mentality. Something clicked in my brain and now I believe this is also at the root of the issues in our household.

What is the Scarcity Mentality?

Psychology Today published an article on the mental implications of scarcity; The author investigates what happens to our minds and how does this impact our behaviors when we feel we have too little and concludes that scarcity establishes a playground for envy. In a big household, where the sibs share everything- including the same birthday- it is easy to see why there may be an innate drive to be the “fittest” and a natural urgency to collect, store, indulge, and remain in the proverbial spotlight.

We made and make efforts to allow each of the V5 to be an individual; while this is good and was founded in good intention, I believe it may provide fodder for the rivalry. For example, each quint basically has their own brand… Lily loves green, is the biggest fan of the Paw Patrol by far and is known for her collection of horses whereas Ellie is the family’s “cat lady” and has not lived a day in her life in any color except for pink. Again, I believe this is good, it provides a source for identity but has it also promoted a sense of scarcity? Are there limited favorite colors, animals, favorite hobbies, etc? I’m uncertain on how they view this but am also curious if they perceive a scarcity of Daddy’s attention, special time with Mom and warm and fuzzy snuggles with Nana.

In my study on scarcity, I also learned that it can propel individuals to action. When there is abundant time then there is no urgency to learn, explore and achieve. So, how do we preserve the benefits of scarcity while encouraging an abundance mentality?

What is the Abundance Mentality?

Dr. Stephen Covey, author of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, shares that the scarcity mentality is a “zero-sum paradigm” and that individuals who are rutted in this mindset have a difficult time sharing both recognition and power whereas the “Abundance Mentality” is a product of personal security. This alternative mentality is the paradigm of plenty with enough to share. This security permits the sharing of self and resources to benefit the greater whole, the team, the family.

Every parent who knows love – agape love (Psalm 86:15; John 3:16) – knows that it can be given and received infinitely to a child; it is unconditional. Love is a universal language which surpasses our understanding. A mother’s love starts long before conception and truly never ends. I believe it originates when one is a little girl and she finds joy in taking care of another. I want my children to know this at the core of their beings. Mommy will always love them.

How can we foster Abundance?

Like other parents and caregivers, I want my children to know who they are, that they are loved and that there is enough of most things, whether it be what’s for dinner, toys, crayons, etc. to go around. How can we foster the abundance mentality in our homes so we can help our children to identify the appropriate time for competition and teach them to see win:win solutions? Leaders in this area suggest the following:

  • Model Appreciation. Say please and thank you and mean it. Demonstrate the value that we have in others for what they say and do.

 

  • Remind ourselves and others that there is more than enough. In the day and age of social media, comparing yourself to others is an epidemic but it can be stopped with a choice. We must stop the envy, the peeking at the “greener” grass next door, and embrace a culture of inclusion and attitude of gratitude.

 

  • Seek Opportunity with Optimism. Be the “glass is half full” person that people like to be around. Choose to see hardships as opportunities for progress, not unattainable perfection.

 

  • Be the Change. I love this quote made by Gandhi in years passed because of its truth. We need to give more of what we want. Our children are constantly watching and learning. We can foster gratitude and abundance by giving; giving our time, talents and treasures away.

 

In closing, I wish all of you mothers and blessed Mother’s Day filled with smiles, happy tears and memories that will last a lifetime.

 

 

 

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“Spring” Break 2018

Our first Spring break is in the books! The 11 days left us physically exhausted but emotionally rejuvenated. It was wonderful to be home with the five and get to be just Mom. We kicked off Spring break with family and ended it with family on Easter. After the trying and hard winter of illness and surgery after illness and surgery, this memory-filled week was just what we needed. Here are a few of our favorites!

Broke out the bikes for the first ride of Spring! Theo and Ellie pride themselves on their speed, Lily loves to batter-ram her sibs and Bella and K-Mae just like to look cute as they tool around.

Practiced our reading, writing and arithmetic. It is so amazing to me to listen to the kiddos sound out words and read simple stories, as well as, watch them write out their names, favorite words and cute notes to their friends. They are also quite artistic and I’m fairly certain Ellie can draw a better cat than I.

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I  Love You Note from Theo (Melts My Heart)

Enjoyed their first donut. Savored the sweetness of Greenbush bakery’s donuts. They were already planning their next trip back as we departed.

Dyed Easter Eggs. Who knew Papa Brett was quite the Easter-Egg-Dyeing-Master? His dipping and dyeing skills were quite impressive. The V5 loved personalizing their eggs in their personal brand and colors.

Family Easter Gathering. It is always special to travel down to Illinois to visit with family that we see only a few times each year. The V5 had a blast with Papa Ron and the Vanderwall’s.

Dad, J, V5

Annual Easter Basket Treasure Hunt. It has become our tradition to have an Easter egg hunt before church. The Easter bunny leaves puzzle pieces, stickers and balloons in each of the eggs. Then, it is their duty to assemble the puzzle and figure out where that bunny hid their Easter treasures. This year the weather through us for a loop. After Frank had successfully hid the baskets, the temps dropped below freezing and he was seen scampering about the yard in his PJs at 11pm at night recovering all of the hidden eggs and baskets by light of the full moon and his cell phone. His mission was successful and I was quite glad I didn’t have to participate. Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of Frank’s midnight athleticism 😊

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Preschool Prom

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The V5 got to try out their Easter Best last night at their Preschool Prom!

The evening was spent enjoying dinner, dancing and a very long balloon animal line amidst lots of new friends.

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Dapper Mr. Theo

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Purple, Princess Bella

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Kali Mae Sunshine

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Anti-Tights, Laid Back Lily

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Always looking to gain an inch, Ellie Rose on her Tippy Toes

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Bustin’ a Move in her Kitty Shoes

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Photo Booth Sillies

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The only way we could capture a group photo… put them in a box

A Few Questions for You…

We caught a glimpse of fun parent-child interviews this week on Facebook and thought we would record the kiddos’ answers to the questions as they related to themselves and their interests, as well as, their perspectives of our interests.

What is…

Theo

Bella

Lily

Kali

Ellie

Use Your Noggin’

Theo

Bella

Lily

Kali

Ellie

What is Mommy’s…

I loved these answers and truly provided their perspective. Some answers were accurate, some were goofy and others were very wrong.

Theo

Bella

Lily

Kali

Ellie

 

The Reason for the Season

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Tradition. What is a tradition? We describe it as something you do every year. In our home, the Christmas tradition revolves around Jesus’ birthday. God gave us Jesus, who gives us the gift of grace. Therefore, each Christmas we celebrate this priceless gift by giving others gifts. Sometimes these gifts can be wrapped up with a bow, but the more precious gifts cannot. This season, I’m resolving to give my children the gift of time.

We recently received the V5’s first school pictures. At first glance, I was taken back at how old they looked! My babies are growing up, toddlerhood is in the past, my little miracles are kids; Rough, tumble, sassy and sweet children.

About the same time, the school pictures came in the mail, I also uncovered their birthing video. Banner Health invites each family the opportunity to record their birthing event [it’s certainly an event]. Viewing these two book-ends of the last four plus years only accentuated how vital time is.

I write this post now, during one of the busiest times of year, as a reminder to myself to slow down. To rethink the to-do list and truly evaluate what “needs” to get done versus what would make me feel good to get done. Is it a “need to do” or a “nice to do?” While the days are long in our home, the weeks, months and years are short. I often need divine intervention to make it through a lunch hour with the kiddos, but at the end of the day, the hugs, giggles and sweet moments shine through.

So, now my challenge to you is to do the same. Take a time out, to consider your reason for the season. Slow down enough to see the years flying by, to hear the snow and to meditate on the healing power of time with loved ones.

Get Well, Stay Well

Starting school is truly a milestone and stimulates a child’s body, mind, heart and, well, immune system. The chill of Fall and Winter air in the Midwest, reins in not only the holiday season but the flu season. This year, we felt the cold, dry air earlier and thus were tossed into the trenches earlier. Experts have noted that this flu season (2017) has been worse than in years passed and will peak at Christmas. This is a relief for a Mom of five- knowing that reprieve awaits.

I swear we have all had the sniffles since that first week of school, but the last 6 weeks have been especially bad. From croup to the latest 24-hour stomach bug, the V5’s immune systems have been challenged. This warranted a post for other parents who are sick and tired of being sick and tired. While the young ones appear to be somewhat energy-immune to runny noses, fevers, seal-barking coughs, malaise and nausea; it is a good sign to me that they still want to run, jump and play. One knows it is bad, when all their child wants to do is snuggle.

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What can we do?

  • Practice Hand Hygiene. Teaching children to wash their hands for 20 seconds with soap and water at transitions in routine at an early age is very important. Pausing when coming home or inside from playing and always washing before meals and snacks can be a great protective strategy. Viruses enter the body through the nose, eyes and mouth so keeping hands clean coupled with keeping hands clear of these body parts can keep the cold and flu viruses out.
  • Don’t Share Germs. Kids are notoriously not good at sharing, except when it comes to germs. Teaching children to not share their straw, cup, silverware, napkin, toothbrush, etc. can be helpful. Also, teaching them to cough and sneeze into their elbow [Vampire Sneeze] can protect others around them. Washing bed sheets, blankets and those favorite stuffed animals and toys weekly can also help to keep their beds from becoming a breeding ground for bad bugs.
  • Stay Active inside and out. Most don’t have to tell kiddos to move but it can be hard to maintain summer activity levels in the winter chill. However, research supports that moderate physical activity can cut cold and flu occurrences by 25 to 50% by boosting the immune system and increasing the circulation of the body’s natural cellular defense. We have found that the Just Dance, Indoor Recess, and Go Noodle are a great way to get our kids’ blood pumping. Also, indoor obstacle courses, hide-and-go-seek and of course bundling up to get outside are all great ways to stay active year-round.
  • Catch those Zzz’s. Inadequate sleep can increase a person’s risk of getting a cold or flu by 200%. Most infants and toddlers need 11-15 hours of sleep each day and preschoolers need 10 to 13 hours. This is collective between evening and naps. While sleep needs do decrease with time, most adults still need 7 to 9 hours each night.

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  • Eat your Vitamins. There are an abundance of over-the-counter immune-boosting supplements but nothing beats getting your vitamins and minerals from solid food sources. Many know that Vitamin C is a potent antioxidant that helps to keep the body healthy. Amping up vitamin C from citrus fruits, berries, melons, tomatoes, leafy greens and broccoli. Many may not know that zinc has been shown to decrease the length of colds and help to prevent illness. Adequate zinc is also important from lean meat, chicken and seafood, as well as, beans and nuts.
  • Make a Flu Shot a Family Affair. This may be a controversial suggestion because many believe their vaccinations do not help or actually make them sick. This is unproven. Some feel ill after getting the shot because the body is bolstering its immune response. It also takes 2 weeks for the vaccination to provide protection so, if an individual encounters the flu virus or a cold within those 2 weeks, the shot is not to blame. We feel that the shot is much better than 2 weeks of the flu.

So, those are just a few suggestions to help stay well during the cold and flu season.

If and when we get sick, getting well is the priority to keep the duration of the illness as short as possible. During these days, rest and rehydration are tried and true. Well wishes to all!

 

Offering Thanks on World Prematurity Day

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This week we honored world prematurity; Offering gratitude to those who walked with us, served us and cared for us on our journey from birth at 29 weeks and one day to four years old. We too easily recall all of the sad conversations that were had, scare tactics used and doubters early on. But, we also recall the reassuring love, guidance and strength which we heard much louder. Throughout the month of November each year, many draw their attention to the life-saving research, treatments and support that give every baby a fighting chance.

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Giving thanks to the one above!

We felt that the V5 were old enough today to participate in thanking those who were critical in their survival from Dr. John Elliott and his team at Banner Desert to the elite NICU staff at Meriter. We honored world prematurity day by perusing their memory boxes, watching their first year videos, visiting the Meriter NICU to offer our thanks and enjoyed a special lunch!

Another day to praise Him for our blessings and thank His angels here on earth!

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